Saturday, February 25, 2012

Crazy for Blocks

Jake doesn't love having his diaper changed.  He's too curious and eager to play to sit still for something so six-months-ago.  Sometimes when he's being particularly difficult and needs some distracting while his mom changes him, I will set the blocks on his face as quickly as he can take them off.  It seems to upset him much less than the diaper changing, and while he doesn't exactly revel in block-to-face game, he treats it like a math problem.

I'm sitting here watching Jacob "play" with his blocks, which right now consists of placing them on his own head until they fall off.  He is not smiling, but rather looks like he's working on a math problem.

It will be interesting to see what psychosis this develops into.  (I'm kidding, psychologist joke)

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

My Conversation with Gabby (PG-13)

So I signed into my MSN account for the first time in a long time and had a friend request.  I wasn't sure who it was, so I accepted.  As luck would have it, the person who sent the request was online and contacted me right away.  This was our conversation:

Gabby says: (03:15:46 p.m.)
hey u there??

Ender says: (03:15:51 p.m.)
Beep boop

Gabby says: (03:16:00 p.m.)
hey there, hope you dont mind chatting with a SPITEFUL horny girl, soo how are ya?

Ender says: (03:17:11 p.m.)
Well, there's someone in the house.  I think they just murdered dog, and I'm hiding in the closet.  Can you please send help?

Gabby says: (03:17:21 p.m.)
yeaa i know its random, but my asshole EX cheated on me so im on a MANhunt hehe... i got your username on a msn directory, im gabby, you are? ;)

Ender says: (03:17:40 p.m.)
Ouch.  I was just stabbed.  I'm bleeding to death

Gabby says: (03:17:49 p.m.)
wish u were in my bed having your way with me ;)

Ender says: (03:18:37 p.m.)
please.  Please.  help me.  It's so cold

Gabby says: (03:19:06 p.m.)
i c.. where do you live? i am bored at home...and this usually leads to bad things ;) esp since im single and sexually deprived :-(

Ender says: (03:21:00 p.m.)

Gabby says: (03:21:11 p.m.)
are you signed up to any dating sites? You seem cool. I just took some dirty pics and uploaded them on my ComeHookup profile.. wanna see??? haha

Ender says: (03:21:47 p.m.)
No thanks.  In heaven, everyone is naked.

Gabby says: (03:21:57 p.m.)
no worries..thouhght u wanted to see me naked ..:)

Ender says: (03:23:25 p.m.)
As an angel, I can see through your clothes.  Not sure what the big deal is, tbqh.

Gabby says: (03:23:36 p.m.)
ok, go here, lmk whatcha think [link removed] ! you might have to make an account if you dont have 1 already. it takes literally 1 minute and it's completely free!

Ender says: (03:24:04 p.m.)
It's so nice to chat with a real girl for once.

Gabby says: (03:24:15 p.m.)
give me ur username when you join so I can send u a friend request, and if u like my pics maybe we can get to know each other better ... cool? ;)

Ender says: (03:25:26 p.m.)
Kill yourself, and we'll have the eternities.